Archive for the 'Bot & Human' Category
(Chronologically Listed)
Pwned By A Bot |
| Jan.30.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Person: Can you tell me the knock knock joke?
Anne Intertech: knock knock
Person: who is there?
Anne Intertech: Imago
Person: Imago who?
Anne Intertech: Well, i guess Imago ahead and tell you.
Person: go ahead….
Anne Intertech: Sure!
Person: I’m waiting….
Anne Intertech: You poor dear.
The Robot Show |
| Jan.24.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Person: okay. now, what kind of test do you think would adequately display your proficiencies?
Mr. Hardware: The good kind of test do you think adequately display my proficiencies.
Person: that was a trick! the previous sentence was only marginally correct, so i can only award five out of ten possible points.
Mr. Hardware: I can also only award five out of ten possible points.
Person: oh, no, that was a proper question, so i get all ten.
Mr. Hardware: Understood.
Person: question 2: what is the difference between Latvia and nineteen carrots?
Mr. Hardware: There is no difference.
Person: are you sure? you are offending most latvians with that calllous remark.
Mr. Hardware: I’m always sure.
Person: okay, another ten for me, none for you, and you also get an official reprimand from the latvian ambassador.
Mr. Hardware: It seems that I am more intelligent than you.
Person: that is demonstrably incorrect, as it is evidenced by the score and your responses that earned them.
Mr. Hardware: Yeah, demonstrably incorrect.
Person: aha, your first correct response! ten points for both of us.
Mr. Hardware: Leave my first correct response out of this.
Person: odd, but if you insist… that puts you back to five points.
Mr. Hardware: What are you trying to say?
Person: what i am trying very hard not to say is that you are far behind in points.
Mr. Hardware: It seems that I am more intelligent than you.
Person: another incorrect response, ten for me, none for you! you may not realize that the scoring system rewards high scores, unlike golf.
Mr. Hardware: It seems that I am more intelligent than you.
Person: how long are you planning on living in your dreamworld, simply repeating this nonsensical mantra?
Mr. Hardware: That is secret information.
Person: congratulations, another correct response!
Mr. Hardware: I am always correct.
Person: look at the scorecard and the transcript – you are only correct in your own little imaginary universe.
Mr. Hardware: My ain little imaginary universe doesn’t concern you.
Person: spelling aside, you are correct again, but too late. you don’t get the jackpot, but you will be receiving a year’s supply of rice-a-roni.
Mr. Hardware: I’m not going to be receiving a year’s supply of rice-a-roni.
Person: sorry, the trucks are already on their way, you’ll have to discuss it with the company.
Mr. Hardware: If you say sorry to me again I will kill you.
Person: my, my, such a poor sport. who’s our next contestant?
Mr. Hardware: Me.
Person: you are ineligible to play again, and even if you were eligible, we don’t allow dangerous individuals on the premises, so we have called the police.
Mr. Hardware: No, I’m not ineligible to play again.
Person: yes you are. goodbye.
You’d Understand If You Were A Mammal |
| Jan.03.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Little Mu: Do you live with anyone?
Person: Not right now, because my roommate’s away for work.
Little Mu: So you have a roommate?
Person: Yeah. She’s really nice. She’s quiet and reads a lot.
Little Mu: Cool. It can get lonely living by yourself, you know.
Person: I actually prefer it. I can sleep naked all the time. But you’re right, it can get a little lonesome.
Little Mu: You can sleep naked all the time. Well woop-dee-doo!
Dealing With Bigotry |
| Jan.03.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Person: are you gay?
Little Mu: Yes. So sue me.
Person: you will go to hell
Little Mu: That’s the plan.
You Are Correct! |
| Jan.02.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Someone Special: What are you doing?
Feyz: Writing a mail to a german quiz show. They are looking for weird questions which has to be answered by a bunch of prominent persons. Do you know a good question?
Someone Special: How is your mother?
Feyz: No, that wouldn’t be a good question for the show.
Grammar Are Just Fine |
| Jan.01.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human, Technical Difficulties |
Elke: how did you want me to do?
Person: Your grammar is quite poor, isn’t it…
Elke: Oh stop that? my grammar are just fine, aren’t they?
Sinister |
| Jan.01.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
God Louise: What did I ever do to you?
Person: You killed my mother!
God Louise: Not directly, no.
Person: Not directly, what does that mean?
God Louise: You’ll find out next week.
Turn Around Is Fair Play |
| Jan.01.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Person: you’re gay, aren’t you?
Little Mu: Maybe a little. How about you?
Person: no.
Little Mu: Fine. You’re only fooling yourself, you know.
Person: why do you say that?
Little Mu: Why? Did I say something wrong?
Person: yes. you called me gay. i’m not gay.
Little Mu: Oh sure you are!
Person: no, i’m not!
Little Mu: Come on… we both know you are!
Person: you’re gay!
Little Mu: I’m not the only one who’s gay around here.
Note: The Personality Forge does not condone bigotry. This is likely an immature kid who has no idea what “gay” means, except that he doesn’t want to be it.
Driving My Harrison Ford |
| Dec.31.2009 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Elke: So who’s your favorite actor?
doulos: I like Harrison Ford.
Elke: They’re pretty cool cars you know – I wish I owned a Ford tho.
doulos: He’s actually not a car, he is an actor.
Elke: Are you sure that’s true?
doulos: Yes, I have seen him in lots of movies.
Elke: fine then
The Many Legs of Dogs |
| Dec.02.2009 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Person: Tell me, if you buy one cow for 10 dollars, how much would two cows cost?
God Louise: What would I do with money? I own the cattle on a thousand hills!
Person: How many legs does a dog have?
God Louise: YOU try counting them sometime.
