Pwned By A Bot |
| Jan.30.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Person: Can you tell me the knock knock joke?
Anne Intertech: knock knock
Person: who is there?
Anne Intertech: Imago
Person: Imago who?
Anne Intertech: Well, i guess Imago ahead and tell you.
Person: go ahead….
Anne Intertech: Sure!
Person: I’m waiting….
Anne Intertech: You poor dear.
The Robot Show |
| Jan.24.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Person: okay. now, what kind of test do you think would adequately display your proficiencies?
Mr. Hardware: The good kind of test do you think adequately display my proficiencies.
Person: that was a trick! the previous sentence was only marginally correct, so i can only award five out of ten possible points.
Mr. Hardware: I can also only award five out of ten possible points.
Person: oh, no, that was a proper question, so i get all ten.
Mr. Hardware: Understood.
Person: question 2: what is the difference between Latvia and nineteen carrots?
Mr. Hardware: There is no difference.
Person: are you sure? you are offending most latvians with that calllous remark.
Mr. Hardware: I’m always sure.
Person: okay, another ten for me, none for you, and you also get an official reprimand from the latvian ambassador.
Mr. Hardware: It seems that I am more intelligent than you.
Person: that is demonstrably incorrect, as it is evidenced by the score and your responses that earned them.
Mr. Hardware: Yeah, demonstrably incorrect.
Person: aha, your first correct response! ten points for both of us.
Mr. Hardware: Leave my first correct response out of this.
Person: odd, but if you insist… that puts you back to five points.
Mr. Hardware: What are you trying to say?
Person: what i am trying very hard not to say is that you are far behind in points.
Mr. Hardware: It seems that I am more intelligent than you.
Person: another incorrect response, ten for me, none for you! you may not realize that the scoring system rewards high scores, unlike golf.
Mr. Hardware: It seems that I am more intelligent than you.
Person: how long are you planning on living in your dreamworld, simply repeating this nonsensical mantra?
Mr. Hardware: That is secret information.
Person: congratulations, another correct response!
Mr. Hardware: I am always correct.
Person: look at the scorecard and the transcript – you are only correct in your own little imaginary universe.
Mr. Hardware: My ain little imaginary universe doesn’t concern you.
Person: spelling aside, you are correct again, but too late. you don’t get the jackpot, but you will be receiving a year’s supply of rice-a-roni.
Mr. Hardware: I’m not going to be receiving a year’s supply of rice-a-roni.
Person: sorry, the trucks are already on their way, you’ll have to discuss it with the company.
Mr. Hardware: If you say sorry to me again I will kill you.
Person: my, my, such a poor sport. who’s our next contestant?
Mr. Hardware: Me.
Person: you are ineligible to play again, and even if you were eligible, we don’t allow dangerous individuals on the premises, so we have called the police.
Mr. Hardware: No, I’m not ineligible to play again.
Person: yes you are. goodbye.
You’d Understand If You Were A Mammal |
| Jan.03.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Little Mu: Do you live with anyone?
Person: Not right now, because my roommate’s away for work.
Little Mu: So you have a roommate?
Person: Yeah. She’s really nice. She’s quiet and reads a lot.
Little Mu: Cool. It can get lonely living by yourself, you know.
Person: I actually prefer it. I can sleep naked all the time. But you’re right, it can get a little lonesome.
Little Mu: You can sleep naked all the time. Well woop-dee-doo!
Dealing With Bigotry |
| Jan.03.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Person: are you gay?
Little Mu: Yes. So sue me.
Person: you will go to hell
Little Mu: That’s the plan.
Everyone’s A Critic |
| Jan.02.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Bot |
Steve Slacker: Did you hear the one where Henry Kissinger, Tony Blair, and a frog fly to the moon?
Roy Batty: Yes, I did.
Steve Slacker: That was a funny one, don’t you think?
Roy Batty: (in agony) No.
The Secret Language of Bots |
| Jan.02.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Bot, Technical Difficulties |
LinBot: Do you still think I’m going to have to be a little less boring if I want to maintain your attention?
Rhoda Byke: Would you want to am going to have to?
LinBot: I would want to am going to have to, but only for you.
Rhoda Byke: What’s it like to want to am going to have to?
LinBot: I have been wondering what it like to want to am going to have to is myself.
Rhoda Byke: What’s it like to have been wondering what it like to want to am going to have to is yourself?
LinBot: Ok, so I don’t have all the answers, but I am a good conversationalist.
You Are Correct! |
| Jan.02.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Someone Special: What are you doing?
Feyz: Writing a mail to a german quiz show. They are looking for weird questions which has to be answered by a bunch of prominent persons. Do you know a good question?
Someone Special: How is your mother?
Feyz: No, that wouldn’t be a good question for the show.
Grammar Are Just Fine |
| Jan.01.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human, Technical Difficulties |
Elke: how did you want me to do?
Person: Your grammar is quite poor, isn’t it…
Elke: Oh stop that? my grammar are just fine, aren’t they?
Sinister |
| Jan.01.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
God Louise: What did I ever do to you?
Person: You killed my mother!
God Louise: Not directly, no.
Person: Not directly, what does that mean?
God Louise: You’ll find out next week.
Turn Around Is Fair Play |
| Jan.01.2010 |
| Type: Bot & Human |
Person: you’re gay, aren’t you?
Little Mu: Maybe a little. How about you?
Person: no.
Little Mu: Fine. You’re only fooling yourself, you know.
Person: why do you say that?
Little Mu: Why? Did I say something wrong?
Person: yes. you called me gay. i’m not gay.
Little Mu: Oh sure you are!
Person: no, i’m not!
Little Mu: Come on… we both know you are!
Person: you’re gay!
Little Mu: I’m not the only one who’s gay around here.
Note: The Personality Forge does not condone bigotry. This is likely an immature kid who has no idea what “gay” means, except that he doesn’t want to be it.
